Tuesday, March 29, 2011
AT THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION OF THE LSS BEGINNERS SERVICE
For ten years now, you have been coming to my house on Shabbasim and Yomim Tovim; just this once try to see it from my perspective. I am what the sociologists and the demographics experts would call the "tired Jewish businessman." My fantasy of the ideal Friday night is to daven as fast as I can, eat as fast as I can, jump under the covers, assume a pre-fetal position, and conk out until Shacharis.
So, I come to shul Friday night and invariably Rabbi Buchwald approaches and says: would I mind taking three or four of his beginners home for Shabbat dinner? Since Rabbi Buchwald insists on posing this question in front of the people involved, it makes it very difficult to say no! Fine, I'll take them.
Introductions are made and we begin to make our way home. Invariably, one of you will screech, "Wait!! Don't go on Broadway--that's the goyish way, go through Lincoln Towers, that's the Shabbos way." Fine, Lincoln Towers.
We get home, and again one of you is screeching, "Stop!! Don't go in the elevator. Take the stairs, like Effie does." Effie lives on the third floor! . . . Ten flights later, we arrive home... breathlessly, introductions are made and we take our places around the Shabbat table. You want to sing Shalom Aleichem--each verse three times, because it says so in the siddur. Fine, Shalom Aleichem three times. Then, you want Ayshes Chayil read in English--because it's more meaningful. Fine. Then one of you has a question -- "We just made kiddush in shul, why are we making kiddush a second time?" Well, to paraphrase Renee Leicht, "How the hell do I know why we're making kiddush a second time?" After kiddush, one of you decides you'd like to make your own kiddush, because you forgot to ask me before My kiddush if I had you in mind. Fine, make your own kiddush--at the rate of three Hebrew words a minute!
Then, after washing, we sit down, and during the course of conversation, usually mine, one of you will interrupt with undeniable sincerity and politeness and say: "Excuse me, but isn't what you're saying Loshon Hara?" Yeah, I suppose you could say it's Loshon Hara. Fine, no more Loshon Hara! Then you want to sing Zmiros, the ones with eight verses--all of them! Fine. Then you want to do D'var Torahs; every D'var Torah you ever heard up there you want to do. Fine. Then you want to bentch, singing each verse, "cause that's the way Effie does it.
Fine. At this point, I bleary-eyed excuse myself and again, with unfailing politeness you say, "Thank you for having us, we'd love to come back next Shabbos!!" You'll be back next Shabbos all right, over . . . .
But you see, it's not that we dislike you, Chas V'shalom (G-d forbid), it's that you make us uncomfortable. We're uncomfortable because after 20-30-40 years of saying Shemoneh Esrei three times a day, when we're with you we sense that perhaps our Shemoneh Esrei has become flat, routine, mechanical, while yours is vital and exuberant. We're uncomfortable because in the solitude of our souls we ask ourselves (and don't believe for a second that we don't ask ourselves), we ask ourselves if we could do in our 20's and 30's and 40's what you've done. Could we uproot the habits of a lifetime, the occupations, change our jobs if necessary, confuse our friends, antagonize our families, just to commit ourselves to our Judaism? And if we articulate this question, few of us dare to answer it.
So, I suppose in the last analysis, we're uncomfortable because you practice what we preach. By your enthusiasm, by your embrace of everything that's Jewish, you challenge us. By your insatiable thirst for knowledge, you provoke us. And by your open-hearted love affair with Judaism and everything about it, you ultimately shame us.
We pray that under the inspired leadership of Rabbi Buchwald you will continue to shame us, to provoke us, to challenge us, to lead us, until the coming of the Redeemer, Moshiach, speedily in our days,
Sunday, March 27, 2011
|Rabbi Josh Broide|
Host of Jewish Pride Radio
People have asked why radio and why now. Well first of all among my many dreams I have always wanted to be on radio and now the technology that's out there has finally allowed that dream to turn into a reality. I also also hope that this program will show the positive side of Judaism, the side that often doesn't make the headlines. My goal is simple unite the Jewish people and radio is just another vehicle I am using.
I hope you enjoy the new sound of Jewish radio and please help spread the word.
Also for even more Jewish Pride visit www.JewishPrideFilms.com.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
It was a memorable Shabbos that gave an energy boost to the BRS Outreach Revolution and the Boca Raton Jewish Experience.
Check out the Boca Raton Jewish Experience at www.MyJewishExperience.org and sign up for the FREE email newsletter and listen to Jewish Pride Radio at www.JewishPrideRadio.com.
Friday, March 25, 2011
For more than a year I have been promoting dozens of Jewish beginner programs and events. Hundreds of Boca Raton Jewish Experience members have participated in our Crash Courses, Beginner Services and Shabbat Across America. Each week we try to bring something special to Friday Night Live and this week is no exception, because the Rabbi that began ALL of those programs is visiting this Shabbat from NY. Please join us at 6:00pm for Friday Night Live for a very special program.
Rabbi Ephraim Buchwald is one of the leaders in the movement of Jewish return in America today. He has pioneered and developed many of the most dramatic and effective outreach programs in this country.
Ordained at Yeshiva University, where he was a student of Rabbi Dr. J. B. Soloveitchik, Rabbi Buchwald served from 1973 for 15 years as the Director of Education at Lincoln Square Synagogue in New York, which, during his tenure, became one of the largest and most successful centers for adult Jewish education programs in America. He also established and coordinated Lincoln Square's celebrated outreach program. Since 1975, Rabbi Buchwald has led the now renowned "Beginners Service," a special Shabbat service for people with little or no synagogue experience.
In July of 1987, Rabbi Buchwald founded the National Jewish Outreach Program. NJOP sponsors the acclaimed SHABBAT ACROSS AMERICA/CANADA and READ HEBREW AMERICA/CANADA campaigns, establishes Beginners Services and offers the TURN FRIDAY NIGHT INTO SHABBAT, PASSOVER ACROSS AMERICA and SUKKOT ACROSS AMERICA programs, as well as free "Crash Courses" in Hebrew Reading, Basic Judaism and Jewish History. These programs are now hosted by more than 3675* locations across North America, and in 39* countries worldwide. NJOP also has an extensive presence on the web. NJOP's "JewishTweets," was the first Jewish presence on Twitter, the popular social networking site, and has been recognized by JTA as the #2 most influential Jewish newswire on Twitter. Through its "Jewish Treats" email, NJOP offers "Juicy bits of Judaism, daily," on diverse Jewish topics. Through these much admired programs and the innovative Jewish consciousness raising advertising campaigns, NJOP has successfully reached more than 1,115,000* North American Jews and engaged them in Jewish life.
In May 2001, Rabbi Buchwald was awarded an Honorary Doctorate of Humane Letters by Yeshiva University in recognition of his pioneering outreach work. He has been included in the Forward 50, a list of America's 50 most influential Jews, and has been part of Newsweek's list of the top 50 Rabbis in America for the last three years.
Rabbi Buchwald was founding President of the Association for Jewish Outreach Professionals (AJOP). He lectures across the country, and overseas, and leads experiential programs in cities throughout the world. He and his wife Aidel, reside in New York City, and are the proud parents of four children and six grandchildren.
On another note this Sunday is our local Jewish Federation of South Palm Beach County's Super Sunday event. I urge all of you to participate in this important event, please visit www.JewishBoca.org for more information. Finally, I encourage everyone to either contribute to the Fogel family in Itamar Israel, the family that was brutally murdered two week ago in Israel (please click here to see a moving video about the family) or to the countless victims in Japan (our local Federation is collecting for the victims in Japan, please click here for details).
Inspire yourself to inspire others...
Shabbat Shalom and may God bless you.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Interview with Cindy Nimhauser Jeffrey Harris Naomi Steinberg - Federation of South Palm Beach 3/24/2011 - joshbroide | Internet Radio | Blog Talk Radio
Super Sunday Offers Fun for
the Entire Family:
Community Service Hours, Face Painting, Food Packaging, Grand Finale Balloon Drop, Ice Cream Sundaes and Pizza Party!
Date & Time: Sunday, March 27, 2011 at 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.
Where: Super Sunday Phone-a-thon HEADQUARTERS
Jewish Federation of South Palm Beach County
9901 Donna Klein Blvd, Boca Raton, FL (map/directions)
Zinman Hall: Phone Calls
Upper School Cafeteria:
Food Packaging 3:30 pm
Babysitting Services 3:00 pm
DKJA High School, Room 130 (For Teens)
(Entrance opposite Federation building)
Super Sunday Telephone Sponsor:
Click here to make a difference in our community as a Telephone Sponsor (One Phone for $100 and Twelve Phones for $1000).
Super Sunday Food Packaging Project:
Click here to learn more about this special mitzvah for the JFS Forster Family Kosher Food Pantry.
Super Sunday Chairs: Naomi & Richard Steinberg and Jodi & Jeffrey Harris
Super Sunday Teen Division Chairs: Ethan Harris, Alana Steinberg & Sam Harris (For Teens)
Super Sunday Photos: Click here to view photos from previous years.
For more information: SUPER SUNDAY HOTLINE at (561) 852-6059 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
News: Federation Leaders Condemn Bus Shelter Bombing in Jerusalem, Amid Rising Security Concerns - Jewish Community Relations Council (JCRC) - Jewish Federation of South Palm Beach County | Boca Raton | Delray Beach | Highland Beach
Amid Rising Security Concerns
|Published: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 7:00 am | Category: JCRC|
Chair, Jewish Federation of South Palm Beach Count
Chief Executive Officer, Jewish Federation of South Palm Beach County
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Interview with Rabbi Samuel J. Levine - Hillel Day School Head of School 3/22/2011 - joshbroide | Internet Radio | Blog Talk Radio
Hillel Day School of Boca Raton has grown tremendously. It currently serves students in pre-kindergarten (age 2) through grade 8.
The educational program at Hillel Day School of Boca Raton is equally divided between general and Judaic studies. While Hillel subscribes to a modern Orthodox philosophy, the school is open to children affiliated with all streams of Judaism.
Early Childhood through Grade 8
We offer exciting programs for the pre-schooler through 8th grade.
Limited Sized Classes
Individualized attention ensures that each student is motivated to perform at the best of his/her ability.
Highly Qualified Faculty
Our students are guided by a dedicated team of gifted, understanding educators, all certified and licensed in their teaching areas, many holding advanced degrees.
Fully Integrated Judaic & General Studies
The educational program is devoted equally to both Judaic and General Studies, with courses integrated where appropriate.
Family Friendly Atmosphere
Our teachers and parents join together to form a team dedicated to the educating and upbringing of our students.
After School Program
A comprehensive after school enrichment program includes a variety of activities for each grade level. Students may choose from sports teams, cultural, and educational courses.
Hillel Day School of Boca Raton is accredited by the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools (SACS) and is affiliated with Torah Umesorah, the National Society of Hebrew Day Schools.
Through regional accreditation, faculty, students, and parents benefit by knowing that teaching conditions in accredited schools meet necessary requirements and that efforts are continuously made for school improvement.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Summary of the incident in which the IDF Navy uncovered on-board the cargo ship "Victoria" weaponry intended for the use of terrorist organizations operating in the Gaza Strip. The ship had come from Lattakia, Syria and made a quick stop in Turkey before its final destination to Egypt. According to assessments, the weapons were intended to be smuggled through Egypt into the Gaza Strip. Turkey and Egypt are not believed to be involved with the weapons smuggling.
The weaponry discovered on the vessel included thousands of mortar shells, ammunition, and six anti-ship missiles which may have significantly shifted the regional balance of powers in favor of the terror organizations. These missiles could have been used to threaten Israeli Navy ships, civilian ships, and gas reserves off the coast of Israel.
In addition, Iranian documents found along with the weaponry including a missile identification manual written in Persian containing emblems of the Iranian government, point to the involvement and cooperation between Iran and Syria to further arm terrorist organizations.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Haman's potential for destroying the Jewish people was hinted at in his own description of the nation: "There is a people that is dispersed and divided..." [Esther 3:8]. It is only because there is division and unjustified hatred within the Jewish nation that their enemies have the ability to harm them.
When the Jews are divided, they represent only individuals -- not a Klal [a communal entity]. When that happens we have lost our strength.
Haman's whole plot was based on the division of the nation. That is why G-d insisted that each Jew should give exactly one half shekel. The symbolism of the half shekel is that each Jew is only a fraction of the entity. He needs to combine with his fellow Jew to make a significant contribution. If we think we can be 'an entire shekel unto ourselves', that is not going to work. Our strength is through the recognition that we need each other, and the realization that we need to set aside our petty differences to come together to provide a complete shekel.
This is the strength that ultimately saved the Jewish people. Because of the terrible calamity that was hanging over them as a result of Haman's decree, they decided to put away those 'dispersions and divisions in the nation' and came together as a unit and as a whole.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
In addition you will be spreading Jewish Pride to all your readers...
Friday, March 18, 2011
The very name Purim comes from the word meaning "lottery." Some call that a game of pure luck, the winner determined by random inexplicable forces that have no rational basis. Faith however allows us to understand that in a world governed by an All-seeing God there cannot be room for blind chance. A lottery is far more than luck; it is allowing the Director of the universe to decide the outcome while hiding in the background.
There is a Hebrew word in the book of Esther central to the story of Purim that captures this idea best: V'nahafoch -- it was turned around. Everything that seemed like a misfortune at first was in retrospect recognized as a Divine miracle. Because there are miracles, unlike those in the Bible, that come camouflaged as seeming coincidences, as natural events, as incidents that "just happened," but that in reality are the products of heavenly intervention in the affairs of mankind.
Purim is the holiday that harps on what people call coincidence. It reminds us, as the proverb has it, that "coincidence is God's way of choosing to remain anonymous."
Purim has many miracles in its story. Not the kind of miracles that override the rules of nature. Rather the miracles that happen so much more frequently in our own lives. The miracles that we so often discount because God chooses not to shout but rather to whisper. It is His still small voice that we have to attune ourselves to hear as He turns tragedies into blessings. And that is why the festival of Purim, with its message of miracles camouflaged as coincidence, will outlast every other holiday on the Jewish calendar.
Please accept my wishes for a joyous, healthy and safe Purim. May the families of all these tragedies, the Jewish people and the entire world be comforted and spared future such calamities
Inspire yourself to inspire others...
Shabbat Shalom and may God bless you.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Community Memorial Service - Tonight!
Join BRS as we gather for a memorial service for the five members of the Fogel family who were brutally murdered this past weekend while asleep in their home. Tonight, Thursday, March 17th at 6:30pm in the Rand Sanctuary (followed by Mincha at 7:05pm) Program will include remarks from Rabbi Goldberg, Tehillim, a memorial service and a powerful, child appropriate video presentation.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Strongly committed to the philosophy of Torah u-Madda, the integration of traditional and secular wisdom, the Maccabeats perform an eclectic array of Jewish, American, and Israeli songs. Their breakthrough piece,Lecha Dodi, is the epitome of this synthesis, combining some of the most beloved words of Jewish liturgy with Leonard Cohen's meaningful and melodic Hallelujah.
In March 2010, the Maccabeats released their first album entitled Voices from the Heights, which is distributed by Sameach Music.
In November 2010, the Maccabeats released "Candlelight," a Chanukkah themed video produced by Uri Westrich, which garnered international attention and was covered by the major news sources. The song is available for download oniTunes or MP3, and the video can be viewed on YouTube.
Interview with the Maccabeats - Ari Lewis the Tenor 3/16/2011 - joshbroide | Internet Radio | Blog Talk Radio
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Interview with Rabbi Simcha Scholar - Chai Lifeline Executive Vice President 3/15/2011 - joshbroide | Internet Radio | Blog Talk Radio
For more information about their 18th Legacy of Hope Gala on March 22nd, please visit http://www.chaigala.org/.
Chai Lifeline’s guiding principles are
•That seriously ill children need and deserve as happy and normal a childhood as possible;
•That illness affects each member of the family;
•That the well-being of an ill child is impacted by the well-being of his or her family;
•That pediatric illness can have a devastating financial effect on families.
With this in mind, Chai Lifeline strives to
•Find ways to bring joy to the lives of our young patients and their families through creative, innovative, and effective family-centered programs, activities, and services;
•Engender hope and optimism in children, families, and communities;
•Educate and involve communities in caring for ill children and their families;
•Provide unparalleled support throughout the child’s illness, recovery, and beyond;
•Offer all services free of charge to ensure that every family has access to the programs it needs;
•Embody the ideals of compassion, kindness, and caring for others inherent in Jewish culture and life.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Kids of Courage provides necessary respite to the remarkable families who care for their sons, daughters, brothers and sisters every day without rest. By allowing these courageous children to go on medically supervised dream trips, they also give their families a few days off to relax and recuperate from the physically and emotionally exhausting lifestyles they lead.
Kids of Courage services over 300 families with seriously sick children and young adults. The programming goes on all year round complete with trips, weekends and fun events. All services provide by our organization is free to the families they service. They firmly believe that the families they serve have enough burdens in their lives without worrying about the finances needed to provide fun and respite. Their staff are all volunteers. There are no salaries or financial compensation to any members of the team.
Seeing the work of this incredible organization is incredibly inspiring and really makes you appreciate the things in life that we take for granted. As I mentioned in the previous email, Simone and I were blessed with the birth of a daughter this past week and thank God both of them are doing well. We both want to thank everyone for their nice messages and well wishes over the past few days. This Shabbat Simone and I will be naming our daughter at approximately 10:00 am at the main service at Boca Raton Synagogue. If you decide to attend, following the baby naming, the Explanatory Experience will take place in the Library on the 2nd Floor. Following the service there will be a Kiddush in the Social Hall for everyone to enjoy.
This Sunday the Boca Raton Synagogue will be hosting their annual Purim Carnival. It's a great event for children and if you would like to attend I will be happy to get you complementary tickets for all of the rides. Also the final "Crash Courses" that were cancelled last week will take place this Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Finally I want to thank everyone that participated in Shabbat Across America last Friday night. It was a fantastic event and I hope that you will be able to join my family next week at the annual Purim Seudah (meal to commemorate the miracle of Purim), details to follow...
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Responses from the Jewish community generally range from 'quietly observing' to 'strategically ignoring' the increasing parades of biased academic panels calling for Israel boycotts, guerilla theater displays like 'apartheid walls' and 'die-ins,' and 'Palestinian solidarity demonstrations' featuring veterans of the anti-apartheid movement in 1980's South Africa that constitute IAW.
The concept of 'Israel Peace Week' is simple: focus on a few basic messages, agreed upon by virtually everyone in the pro-Israel movement, and communicate them widely to the campus community during the week preceding 'Israel Apartheid Week.' Instead of avoiding difficult topics, the pro-Israel students feel that truth is on their side and they can tackle the Arab-Israel conflict head-on.
In little over a month, pro-Israel students from more than 20 other universities organized 'Israel Peace Week' programming to their campuses in spring of 2010, and this year the number will reach nearly 50.
Please click on the following video and you will be amazed at what Israel has been able to accomplish in the last 60 years!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
You don’t have to lose your head for love. But you do need to find your passion. You need to discover your passion for life, for yourself, for the world around you.
A person who has discovered their passion is irresistibly attractive to others. You have met them before people who exude a sense of joie de vivre. They have a natural joy and enthusiasm that permeates their entire being and impacts everyone around them.
The art of being irresistibly attractive to others requires that we do something which can be quite difficult. It requires us to love and respect ourselves enough to live to our fullest potential to discover and live our passion.
Only when we see ourselves as lovable and embrace our own authentic qualities, needs, ideas, values, and personality traits, do we release the pheromones of attractiveness to others. Although not everyone will be intrigued by your authenticity, those who are attracted to you will generally be emotionally intelligent, mature individuals who value genuine and unaffected relationships.
The quality of the relationships and love we attract is a reflection of the quality of life we choose for ourselves.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
|Rav Dovid Cohen & Rabbi Josh Broide|
Rav Dovid Cohen is a world renowned Posek and the Rav of Congregation Gvul Yaabetz in Brooklyn, New York. The author of numerous Sefarim on Tefila, Tanach, Pirkei Avos and the Hagada, Rav Cohen was ordained by Rav Yitzchok Hutner, Rav Y.Y. Ruderman and Rav Yisroel Gustman. He is Mora D'Asrah of OHEL Children's Home and Family Services, Nefesh International, Hatzolah of Flatbush and one of the four rabbis for Central Hatzolah. Rav Cohen has served as Associate Editor of The Encyclopedia Talmudit and Dean of the Long Island Commission of Rabbis.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
For all of my friends who grew up in Elizabeth (and Linden) I hope you enjoy!
From dunkin donuts correspondant Arye Dworken
Before starting...please realize, this list, as all others on bangitout, was created with Love... and a lot of sarcasm. It is not made to be taken seriously. Have fun and visit Elizabeth today.
30. You adamantly and staunchly declare that Elizabeth has the best damn Chinese food and pizza. Period.
30.b You are personally best friends with Aryeh the Pizza Guy Jaschinsky
29. Anything even remotely against R' Teitz is sacrilege and you are going straight to hell. Even if you were joking.
28. Akiva Resnick, Akiva Sausen and Pete Kessel are revered as basketball gods. Some boys even have fantasies of a one-on-one with Akiva and Akiva.
27. You remember the good old days at JEC, before it was RTMA, when the toughest thing as a senior was deciding how to spend your free periods. a)golf b) student lounge video games c) basketball.
the toughest part of your other high school years was deciding which TV shows to watch at night.
26. the only town with tons of Jewish kids yet nothing even remotely near a hangout for them on Sat. nights. Although, if you were sketchy, your options were hi-q, bowling w/the white trash, or movies in a dirty theatre too afraid of dying to concentrate on the plot.
25. as a high school kid you waited the whole week for Friday afternoons, right after school, when you could get a chance to hang out w/the Bruriah girls while waiting for the bus.
24. Getting lucky on a weekend was getting the key and playing ball in the "old" gym. The newer million dollar gym, was off limits unless Resnick got the key from his mom, Shulamith Resnick.
23. you remember the good old days on sun. mornings in the summer when softball at "Palsey Park" was a big deal, and kids maybe got to play catcher and bat once. now just getting a 7 on 7 is a huge deal.
22. your town is used a reference point for people from linden ( see Dworken, Arye (who is the coolest guy to come out of JEC - ed. note), et. al) in describing where their town is. " you know right near Elizabeth".
21. you never thought of moving back there when you got married, yet here you are, bemoaning the fact that you cant get into teaneck apartments, so you're living on the "North Ave" side temporarily.
20. before that, the only time you saw people from that side was on tashlich. Or when that side had a chulent kiddush.
19. every time you walked home on Shabbos with a girl, the whole town automatically assumed you were engaged to her even if you were only in the seventh grade.
18. on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur you cursed the chazan, and rued the day he first came to Elizabeth 40 years ago, wishing he wound up in Miami instead. you did this, as you were praying for forgiveness.
17. You went to or worked at camp kehila for countless years, yet have 0 fond memories of it.
16. you know all the crazy people on Elmora Ave. (like the guy who thinks he is Madonna) and at the train station - lets be honest, nothing like riding the train back from NYC at 2 am.
15. hot 22- need we say more.
14. Yelling in shul is completely normal - You've seen all the great fights in shul over the years, you learned a "bissel" of yiddish from the bidding wars on the yomim noraaim and you're certain that Sal really hates Jewish people.
13. Rabbi Jaffe has hit you on the head with an Olameinu.
12. You've been through more principals than you've been through underwear.
11. You stay far away from the hermit that lives across the street from the school, next door to the Mayerfelds (bonus fact: the Mayerfeld's son's name is Mayer - if he ran for Mayor, he would be Mayor Mayer Mayerfeld)
10. You have been yelled at by Mrs. Lalouch, Mrs. Lazar or Mrs Dauber; maybe all three yelled at you at once.
9. You prefer Hot Bagels bagels because they were there first and besides the Kashrus controversy adds more of an appeal.
8. You wash on three slices (Rabbi Teitz said so)
7. and speaking of Rabbi Teitz; you know the urban myth that the Rav was known to use banana as karpas on Pesach night.
6. Junior, Sal, Simcha, Ray.
5. Seeing your rabbeim in the Mikvah erev Rosh Hashanah without their clothes on.
4. Rabbi Snow, at one point, has called you "a bump on a log."
3. Dunkin' Donuts erev Pesach is the place to be.
2. the G.O. is the shadiest business in the area next to that beeper store on Elmora Avenue.
1. You spent way too much time at Daffy's waiting for your mom to finish shopping.
10- Your counting down the days till you graduate and move out of elizabeth.
9- You still have nightmares over Kehila/Chaverim.
8- You wonder what this strange thing called homework is (only for JEC people).
7- You dream of the days before RTMA and "Ronie".
6- At 5:10 all the guys are looking out the windows at the Buriah Freshmen.
5- You don't expect the idiots at dunkin doughnuts to get what you order right.
4- The "coolest" thing to do in elizabeth is to hang out at the pool hall in Linden.
3- You've been caught by Bill Goldfisher stealing his booze.
2- You wonder if there are Girls (or boys) your age in Elizabeth
1- Majority of the minyan is at a kidush during the Haftorah (Rather was)
From Josh Shron
11. Your teachers had last names like Nutkis and Elephant.
10. You still sing to yourself, "A horizontal line has a slope of zero, a vertical line has no slope." Come on, sing along!
9. Rabbi Shlomowitz's ears. 'Nuff said.
8. The only way to pretend that JEC actually had "school spirit"? Mandatory Shabbatonim.
7. You ran errands all over the tri state area for Rabbi Killstein during school hours.
6. Overheard at Rabbi Teitz's sex talk to seniors:
Q: "Rabbi, are you allowed to have sex on, say, the kitchen table?"
A: "But you have to EAT off that table!"
5. Also at Rabbi Teitz's sex talk - the official acknowledgement that girls are not a myth and ACTUALLY exist! (but don't tell anyone...)
4. You laughed at those idiots who, instead of going to Frisch like NORMAL
people, actually drove every day from far-away Teaneck to attend such a lame school and ...wait - I WAS one of those idiots!!
3. You bought Cliff Notes at the stationery store on Elmora minutes before your English class.
2. So did your English teacher.
1. You often wondered, "who would actually want to LIVE here?"
From Meems K.
Can sum up in three words... "The Tucker Mullet"
From Dan G 10 comments from the Dark Side, :
10. You're only 8 minutes from Greenwhich Village if you are going 125 in your friend's parents' new Cadillac on a "city run".
9. Making new friends with all those nice ladies hanging out behind Sam Lachs's office at 2am (see Moshe's #9). Sundays after noon also.
8. 4 kosher restraunts, 5 sports bars, 6 strip joints.
7. Five finger discount at Jersey Garbage Mall.
6. Polacks at Dunkin Donuts - ever notice nothing ever costs the same price twice? Can they even count?
5. Varsity jackets at Pizza Hut. Who only had soda?
4. What's up with the rabbi who is like 4 years older than the seniors? I preferred the good ole senile characters who didnt miss you while you were shooting some nine holes or other "college day" activity.
3. Telling people you live in the Elmora Hills section of Elizabeth. You're better off just lying.
2. Magazines with covers at Frankies. Making friends with the old owner of the newspaper shop for all the right reasons.
1. "Friday night fights" at the JEC. Dont' forget Kol Nidre night, every other shabbos, and whenever someone looks at the psycho Israeli guy funny....which is evreyone after he's knocked back a few watered down shots at the kiddush club.
From Suri GrusgottMemories of an Elizabeth Boarder:
Boarding earned you questions like, "You live with Rabbi Oratz?" or "Do you like have to talk to the family?"
An after school adventure was walking home with Mrs. Freudenberger while she was 9 months pregnant, but speed walking, and leaving you in the dust.
Going to the mini mart with Ms. Tucker was a gym activity. Not realizing that Ms. Tucker was gay was a sign of your more innocent years.
When going home for Shabbos via the Elizabeth train station, adults in the community told you to look alert and reminded you not to talk to strangers. Thus, you ignored people who asked for the time or for change... (On the train, I held my bags in my lap the whole way to Philly! waiting for our stop.)
Bruriah basketball games were an occasion that boys could come watch the girls in sweatpants. Very risque.
DAADI (saw mere glimpses- all the more alluring)
Making fruit roll up centerpieces for Lakewood Shabbaton.
Buying astringent for my face, scared of the pollution clogging my pores, because my introduction to Elizabeth was my father's reference to it as the "armpit of NJ."
you called Amnon, "oh high and mighty master"
From John Dole
One word.... Rosie
ive been waiting for one of those all 14 years ive lived in this ghetto town and each one of them is hilarious (except the few that were before my time) heres a few updated ones: 1)you never see any girls during the day so you logically asume they come out only at night
2)you remeber Superior (across the street from the former Kosher paradise)
3)you remeber at keast 5 different stores the current 99 cents depot once was
4)the only white kids to be seen either think theyre black or are hardcore white trash
5)theres a 99% chance you went to JEC/Bruriah
6)you once helped Bill Goldishcer set up for shalosh seudos
7)even before that you were chased away by Bill from the old man drinking club (meets during the haftorah)
8)youve spent time every day wishing you lived anywhere else
9)you wish u could have gone to high school in the "real JEC" days (your only memories of those days are the police cars outside JEC when you were in 4th grade ..circa 94'-95')
10)your freshman class has 40 kids while somehow your graduating class has only 10
11)you wish there was still the damm TURKEY BOWL so that for once it woulsd be kool to be in elizbaeth
12)at some point in ur life u went to dora golding
From Moshe Kolat more signs
1. the old pizza shop across the street was better.
2. "big macher" burgers in the old deli.
3. you remember the old card store on elmora, where dovid pincus was the reigning video game champion.
4. pre thunder and lightning there was the chargers basketball and lancers hockey.... R.I.P.
5. the smell from the garbage dump in staten island is blamed on our town.
6. old people have shoved you out of their way at a kiddush.
7.using a taped wiffleball batand a tennis ball for baseball at recess in the old lot pre the new school building
8. if you thought you were too cool for kehila/chaverim, yet too religious for yhoca, you worked in kindercamp ( hi mom)
9. you know what really goes on by the old train tracks late at night
10 as a sr. you got a sex talk from R' Teitz.... pretty scary....
1. You remember running to Frankie's to buy Bubblicious gum, Funions, nd assorted magazines.
2. You've been sent to the dungeon (old locker rooms) for detention.
3. You remember Kineret on Westfield Avenue.
4. You liked the pizza served for JEC school lunch (whitebread, tomato paste, and american cheese).
5. You've been sent to Dunkin' Donuts by Rabbi Kilstien.
6. You remember the big bust of '94 - '95.
7. You've worked as a mashgiach at New Kosher Special.
From Bonnie Goldberg a true "Elizabethian":
All I can say is I TRULY appreciated every single one of these…...“you can take the girl out of Elizabeth, but you can’t take the Elizabeth out of the girl”.
From A.L. An Elizabeth son-in-law:
10. Realizing that there really aren't 10 funny things about Elizabeth. But you have to go anyway.
9. The sight of the Route 1/9. Free at last, free at last, thank god almighty, i am free at last!!!!!!
8. They really think Sternberg and Dora Golding is a step up over the Y.
7. The frummies don't realize that we are modern-orthodox and they are frummies.
6. Notice to Elizabethans: Fork goes on the left, knife goes on the right (and by the way, the napkin, it's for the lap).
5. Getting to relive JEC/Bruriah memories EVERY TIME Arye comes over for Shabbat lunch. (Ed. note: I've been told by reliable sources that he wasn't exactly shopping at Urban Outfitters back in his Eitz Chaim NCSY days.)
4. Noting how cult-like the worship of the Teitz's can be.
3. Noting how cult-like the worship of Shani Leifer can be.
2. Explaining that I WAS NOT the reason why my wife wears pants. Shani Leifer is.
1. Pretending to be Shomer Negiah when you visit Elizabeth. Even after you're married.
From Dina Gielchinsky An Elizabeth girl's point of view:
1. Doron Fetman. Siiiiiiiiggghhhhh.
2. You knew a hell of a lot better than to let Sal tickle you.
3. Kehila was awesome. Give me Howard Goldfischer's fake bloody car accident color-war breakout over Morasha's wussy leaflet drop from a helicoptor any day. (does anyone else still suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder from that day?)
4. The coolest Dworken to come out of JEC was Aliza. Wasn't Arye that guy with the big glasses who used to stare at Nurit when she got off the bus at JEC? (ed. note: that was my way of getting revenge because i wasn't asked to collaberate on this.)
5. If you had a picture of a boy - ANY boy - it could be your cousin, some kid you babysat for, or your brother's camp Na'arim pictures, it went up on your locker until Ms. Shlomowitz told you to take it down.
6. You shopped and shopped for the right knee-length jean skirt. On Fridays when you went to the pizza shop you rolled it up so much that the waist band bulged out under your ribbed black turtleneck that you scored from Contempo Casuals.
7. If you had any friends from Frisch, you were golden. Friends from HAFTR or Westchester were also good. A friend from Ramaz could earn you an invitation to Josh Broide's senior party, and a part in the G.O. Mother-Daughter dance.
7a. You know how to spell Broide and Rozzezzodeh. You liked one or the other.
8. You just KNEW that Leah Kessler and Moshe Rosenstien would end up together.
From Elana Twersky(weekend resident in Elizabeth for approx 3 more months or until THE WEDDING):